Parents seeking therapy for their child often ask me how to explain what therapy is to children and young people. The following examples may be helpful in this regard. Remember to select the points that best suit your specific circumstances and your child’s age.
You might consider saying something like
“We’re going to visit Marie. Her job is to help children A) with their feelings and thoughts B) to get better at school C) if something violent has happened D) if parents don’t live together anymore and it’s difficult for the child.
I have met Marie and she is sweet and friendly. You can tell her anything. Marie is used to talking to children. You can talk (and play) together“.
For older children and young people, it might be appropriate to say something similar
”I know you are having a hard time right now. We have to meet with Marie, who is a psychologist for young people and their families. Her job is to help families A) to feel better B) to do better [x]”.
Important guidelines
Depending on the situation and age, you may consider talking to your child about
-Therapy is not a test or an exam
-therapy lasts 50 minutes and usually takes place every week, especially for children and young people
Bring your child to therapy at the agreed time and on time.
I advise against you
-tell the child that she needs therapy because she is the problem or that there is something completely wrong with her
-that he should listen to what I say
-puts your child under pressure to be nice or behave properly during therapy
-involves the child in what therapy costs or that you mention that therapy is cheap or expensive. Consider that payment is made when the child is not present
-talking about something about the child, while the child can overhear it. As a rule, it makes the child uncomfortable. If you want to discuss some things with me, I suggest that you contact me and that we arrange a parenting interview.
Additionally, I encourage you not to force your child into therapy. If you have problems getting your child to come to me, contact me. If your child refuses to talk to me, try to avoid rewarding or punishing the child for coming. Do not bribe the child to come to me such as “If you visit Marie, you will get an ice cream afterwards”. If your child shows you, for example, a drawing the child has drawn in therapy, try not to say something judgmental like “Nice drawing!” or “Why doesn’t the girl have any arms?” After the conversation, the child does not need to be asked if it was fun or if it went well – it is therapy.
Before each conversation, it is good for everyone that you remember the following
If there is anything particularly up-to-date that I need to know, please send me an email the day before the child comes for the interview.
Be in the waiting room a few minutes before the agreed time.
Help the child remember that all digital gizmos are set to silent and vibration-free.
Provide your child with something to eat before the interview. If the child brings something edible to the conversation, it can often take the focus away and delay us getting started.
Make sure the child has gone to the toilet before the interview, so we can spend time talking instead.
I look forward to meeting your child. Each and every child is unique and all children need to be understood and cared for. All people benefit from sharpening their psychological understanding of themselves and others – this gives increased common language, reflections, recognition and a greater sense of freedom to be who you are – and that it is “good enough”.
